Facing Hardship

FACING HARDSHIP
If I can overcome my past, so too can you...

Today is a day of reflection. A day of proof. A day where all the lights shine simultaneously and enlightenment is granted. The entire purpose of this book is to help create a global community of happy, healthful, and happily healthfully contagious people. But an endeavor like this requires first looking at where it all started. For me, it was age four.


I've faced numerous hardship in my life, as much as any other, in some instances, more than several people combined. I've also been granted many gifts, some I was born with, some I picked up in my travels along the way. Today, I want to tell you of those hardships, not to trouble you or to make you gloomy, rather quite the opposite--to motivate you into knowing, into believing that there is nothing in this world that can keep you down if you do not allow it to. I am proof. Here's my story...


At the age of four, unbeknowst to my parents, I was molested by a distant cousin. It's a sad tale and fate one must struggle with for one's entire life, and it's not something that was at first ever easy to talk about. Today, however, years after coming to terms with it, I tell it like I tell a joke, minus the punchline. I just put it out there, very matter-of-factly, and that's that. This abuse continued off and on until I was fifteen years old. Yes, I was molested, sexually abused, over the course of 11 years. I cannot tell you what this does to the fragile development of a child. I cannot tell you the amount of confusion and despair one must endure, constantly in a state of "fight or flight," and the battle one has with oneself over issues of trust, identity, sexuality, and "normal." Without delving at all into the psychological aspects of this issue, I simply want to say--I overcame this.


During my very troubled childhood, my family relocated several times. This created havoc with my ability to make and keep friends, and I effectively lived the life of an Army brat, without the father in the military. This strain caused immense tension in my family, and I, the oldest, usually took on the brunt of the family's frustration. Usually that meant taking on far more responsibility that what should ever be placed on a child, but such was my fate. I was effectively the third adult in the equation, but as a child, I was still subject to discipline--in my case, it was harsh discipline delivered via intense spankings. But despite being forced to grow up quickly and having a very sore backside--I overcame this.


In high school, I forged a friendship with a girl that I was very fond of. She saw the situation I was in, "rescued" me from it, and I moved in with her when I was 17. We later married, went to school, and had a future planned together. After 10 years of marriage, she "found" someone else (and I'm being "fair" there) and our marriage dissolved in divorce. I spent months in darkness, despair, isolation, eventually ended up in an Adult Crisis Clinic for a few days, and I was at my absolute lowest. However, here I am today. This too--I overcame.

I have spent the majority of my life so below the poverty level that $100 might as well have been $1,000,000. I have experienced incredible debt; I've had years of no money at all; I lived in a weekly rent hotel full of bugs and more bugs; I've had no car; I've had weeks where I'd only eat beef jerky because it was all I could afford; I've filed bankruptcy; I had moments where I struggled so much, I truly would have been better off succumbing to homelessness than keep fighting. Yet I fought, yet I climbed forth from the ashes, and here I am. I overcame this.


In reaction to my "stolen" childhood, I cut ties with my entire family. I went so far as to take my wife's name when we got married. I said not one word to any of them for 10 whole years. Not a word to my mother, father, brothers, or sisters. Then, realizing what life and what happiness are all about, I contacted them. In this instance, I overcame myself. I overcame the dark beast that lived within me that once told me I wasn't good, that told me I wasn't worthwhile, he that kept me down. I saw a light, I reached for it, and in that light I saw myself pulling out the child from within, each smiling in true, unabashed happiness. From that day, I promised myself that I would do anything and everything to be happy. I knew that within me lied the power to change myself, and that it was there from the beginning.


I have endured enormous hardship, yet here I am, today, happier than ever, as if none of what has happened ever did happen, and as if I've been thrust into the life I've always wanted. I'll tell you now it's not fame, fortune, or things. Each of those are great, in their own respect, but what really matters, what counts at the end of the day, is a happy heart. For without a happy heart, fame, fortune, and things are nothing. How many unhappy celebrities have died because of drug overdoses? They had the fame and fortune, but they were unhappy. How many millionaires or billionaires have all the material possessions they want, but their marriages and relationships are in turmoil? They lack a happy heart. Well, I have a happy heart and I hope to share with you the secrets to developing one and to maintaining one for your entire life. I don't consider myself a special person. By that I mean, someone born with, or someone who has acquired special gifts that others don't possess. But I do consider myself special in that I love myself. I love who I am. I wouldn't trade myself for any other version of me. Surely, loving yourself in this way is the key to unlocking your full potential and guaranteeing a life of happiness. First you must realize, and I hope I've demonstrated it completely, there is no hardship that you cannot overcome. This I promise; this I know. It is with incredible love that I do all that I do. I wish you the greatest success and the most abundance of happy that you can ever imagine. All my love.