DAY THIRTEEN
Honesty
I must admit, today was not a good day for me. I am writing this book, after all, for myself, a guide on how to pick myself up or things I did to pick myself up and stay up. Today I felt really down, kind of miserable, just plain depressed. I saw my very close friend and she both noticed and commented on this “sudden shift.” I told her that I felt like a lot of what I was feeling actually had to do with her, and we more or less left it at that. And that’s true. I do have certain things I want; I have had several significant changes in my life with a change of jobs, a switching of hours of jobs, an increase in financial obligations, etc. But at the end of the day, it boils down to what fills my home. And right now, it’s me. Just me. That’s neither exciting nor what I want. So today, I was honest with another; I was honest with myself; and I spent the remainder of the day introspecting to ensure that in fact, that was actually what was going on. Turns out I was also really tired and in my depression I had neglected my appetite. So after eating and after taking a nap, I felt a lot more clear on what was going on—and, combined with the aforementioned recent changes, the real issue is indeed “wants, hopes, and desires.”
Honesty
I must admit, today was not a good day for me. I am writing this book, after all, for myself, a guide on how to pick myself up or things I did to pick myself up and stay up. Today I felt really down, kind of miserable, just plain depressed. I saw my very close friend and she both noticed and commented on this “sudden shift.” I told her that I felt like a lot of what I was feeling actually had to do with her, and we more or less left it at that. And that’s true. I do have certain things I want; I have had several significant changes in my life with a change of jobs, a switching of hours of jobs, an increase in financial obligations, etc. But at the end of the day, it boils down to what fills my home. And right now, it’s me. Just me. That’s neither exciting nor what I want. So today, I was honest with another; I was honest with myself; and I spent the remainder of the day introspecting to ensure that in fact, that was actually what was going on. Turns out I was also really tired and in my depression I had neglected my appetite. So after eating and after taking a nap, I felt a lot more clear on what was going on—and, combined with the aforementioned recent changes, the real issue is indeed “wants, hopes, and desires.”
So, even though today was not happy and shiny and sparkly and magical, it was real. And there is something to be taken from that. Not every day will be your best ever—and sometimes, some days will plain stink. But knowing that there will always be a tomorrow, and knowing that the world is full of people that love you, your world will go on. Just breathe. Close your eyes and breathe. You are loved.
Today’s task: take the day off. It’s okay to just ‘be.’ We’ll do more tomorrow.
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