DAY TWELVE
Confidence
Today began very early for me; I met several new friends, which is always a nice thing to have happen, and then toward the end of the day I engaged, very deeply, with some close friends. I learned a lot about others today and what stood out at the top of the list was confidence. One close friend in particular, something about the way she presented herself, hit me like a lightning bolt. In a moment of complete brilliance, pure beauty, and ultimate sincerity, this young woman proffered herself to the world, in such an unintentional way, but only in a way that sheer confidence could ever produce. I immediately took notice, told her what I saw, and smiled the rest of the night at such a wonderful occurrence of confidence existing in its most pure and perfect form.
Confidence
Today began very early for me; I met several new friends, which is always a nice thing to have happen, and then toward the end of the day I engaged, very deeply, with some close friends. I learned a lot about others today and what stood out at the top of the list was confidence. One close friend in particular, something about the way she presented herself, hit me like a lightning bolt. In a moment of complete brilliance, pure beauty, and ultimate sincerity, this young woman proffered herself to the world, in such an unintentional way, but only in a way that sheer confidence could ever produce. I immediately took notice, told her what I saw, and smiled the rest of the night at such a wonderful occurrence of confidence existing in its most pure and perfect form.
Confidence is something we all struggle with, and very much to my surprise, I found that it too was a struggle for her. I suppose we all have a mixture of “pure confidence,” “false-confidence,” (that which we project to the world but that which does not accurately reflect how we view ourselves), and “confidence in progress” (something more like conscious incompetence if we use the scale as developed by William Howell: unconsciously incompetent—consciously incompetent—consciously competent—unconsciously competent). What I believe she possesses, regardless of what she says, is pure confidence, or true self-confidence. What she believes she possesses is something between confidence in progress and false-confidence (merely a projection). But here’s the point: in what I saw, it was undeniably pure confidence. She responded, it was not entirely so. But our confidence is based upon the totality of all of our skills, characteristics, strengths, and strengths in progress. So, it’s possible to be utterly confident in one or more areas of our lives, while less than confident in other areas, and still possible to be not at all confident in the remaining areas. Thus, it’s quite difficult to accurately gauge exactly how confident we are or are not about everything in general.
So here’s my suggested solution: focus on those skills, characteristics, and strengths that you possess in undeniable abundance and purity. Run wild with those. Be confident. Do it like everyone’s watching, and do it like you just don’t care because only you do in that way, and only you can do it in the best way. In this way, you will be the best possible version of yourself, and there’s only one of you…out of 6+ billion people, there’s only one of you (unless you are a twin, triplet, etc., but that just messes up the math and the point!) take that in. If you focus on the things that you are awesome at, why wouldn’t you be confident? You offer the world so much more when you offer your best. You are entitled confidence, in fact, if what you offer is your best, confidence is expected.
Today’s task: a two-fold proposition: one, introspect and identify 5 to 10 of your most solid skills, characteristics, or strengths (not those you wish you had, rather those you actually have). If introspection isn’t your strong suit, and that’s quite possible, indeed, ask a friend or someone close to you (who is good at that) to help you. If you still struggle, get this book: StrengthsFinder 2.0, Tom Rath, ISBN-13: 978-1595620156. It’s worth every penny, but make sure you buy new, or you won’t get the online code, which is critical to the test that produces the results. Two, when you see confidence in another, identify it. Tell that person what you see, exactly, specifically, and how it affects you (perhaps you admire it, it inspires you, it reminds you of what you want to improve, etc.). You know why? Because that reinforces confidence and more confident people are happier people, and happier people are more loving people and more love is always a good thing.
Today’s task: a two-fold proposition: one, introspect and identify 5 to 10 of your most solid skills, characteristics, or strengths (not those you wish you had, rather those you actually have). If introspection isn’t your strong suit, and that’s quite possible, indeed, ask a friend or someone close to you (who is good at that) to help you. If you still struggle, get this book: StrengthsFinder 2.0, Tom Rath, ISBN-13: 978-1595620156. It’s worth every penny, but make sure you buy new, or you won’t get the online code, which is critical to the test that produces the results. Two, when you see confidence in another, identify it. Tell that person what you see, exactly, specifically, and how it affects you (perhaps you admire it, it inspires you, it reminds you of what you want to improve, etc.). You know why? Because that reinforces confidence and more confident people are happier people, and happier people are more loving people and more love is always a good thing.
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