The book is:
1,000 Days of Happy
- Thousands of tips and tricks to thrive in any trials or tribulations.
- How to survive nearly anything.
- How to be the best version of "you."
- How to get more from life by giving more.
If I told you every story I have to tell, of everything that has happened to me in my life, how it affected me, and how I ultimately dealt with it and what I learned from it, I'd bet you wouldn't guess I'm in my 30s. Honestly, I don't feel like I'm as young as I am. I've lived a life full of many experiences both good and bad. I've also experienced deep, dark depression. Days and months of nothing. No hope. No light. No smiles. No happy. I've spent my share of time as a zombie, waiting for tomorrow, hoping for better, sometimes not even hoping. But, as always, there was a tomorrow, and as always, happiness always found a way back. I look back and wonder how I ever got through some of those times, then I realize it's what I told myself, inside, that got me through. I'd love to take credit for all of it and say that I did it all by myself, but that's simply not true. In fact, if it weren't for others, well, I'm not sure where I'd be. And therein lies the central point. It's what we receive from others, what they see in us, what we see in them, the advice they give--everything, it's all because of others that we survive and thrive. But before we can ever seek or use the help of others, we must first help ourselves. The first step is looking inward.
DAY ONE
Smile.
Smile. You know why? Because it's the universal sign of happy. How can you smile and not be happy. Ever see someone else smile and then you find yourself smiling? It's like yawning--happy is also contagious. Therefore, the trick is using this "contagious" to your advantage.
Stand in front of a mirror and smile, for one minute straight. Focus on your smile at first, then focus on your eyes. When you see your eyes "smile" then you know you are happy. Try this for an entire minute, focusing only on your reflection smiling back at you. See how you feel. But don't just fake it--really mean it. Think of a happy time (if you are presently unhappy) or happy times. Play this time or these times over in your head like they are happening now. How do you feel? Admittedly, this trick doesn't always work for me, but it usually does. It reminds me that I have been happy, very happy, and that even if I'm not now, I know I will be again. If it doesn't pull me out of my funk, I try another trick. And hey, if this didn't work, but you really tried it, sincerely gave it your all, then I'm smiling because you tried. You can at least take from this that you made someone else happy. Your happy is coming--I assure you. Hang in there.
DAY TWO
Sincerity.
Be sincere. Be sincere in everything you do--but for this task, specifically in the way you talk to people. Flattery is wasted if it's not sincere. So too is everything else. One of my favorite quotations (actually painted on my wall) "In a world where you can be anything, be yourself." (Etta Turner) Like so many other characteristics, you must first be sincere with yourself before you can be sincere to the world.
Have you ever had someone tell you "thank you" and really mean it. There's a huge difference between a sincere "thank you" and the type of "thank you" you say a hundred times a day--like the kind that is just an afterthought, such as when you receive a receipt at the store. A sincere "thank you" has feeling, it has emotion. It makes you tingle when you hear it. Imagine if you said every "thank you" like that. Then imagine if everyone said "thank you" like that. So for this task, you are going to practice being sincere. Say "thank you" and really mean it, any time someone helps you. When you focus on being thankful, on being grateful, and when deep down you know you really mean it, you will be very happy for a very long time. I know. I do this every day. One of my jobs is in a call center and without the face to face, all I have is my voice. So it's my task to be sincere, but to also sound sincere. Every call, I pour my sincerity in, and at the end of each call, each guest, in his or her own way, thanks me. I hear the sincerity in their voice, and it's a direct reflection of my sincerity I shared with them. Sincerity is one of the most powerful and rewarding gateways to true, life-long happiness.
DAY THREE
Expression.
Express yourself.
There are two amazing forces in this world that have the ability to affect us very deeply. They can alter our moods, enhance our moods, and "speak" our moods. They are movies and music. Have you ever been completely, desperately sad then heard a sad song on the radio--the words so perfect, the music exactly what you need, it's everything you want to say--and then you feel better? Think of that, you are sad, you hear a sad song, but then you feel better. How can that be? Because of expression. A perfectly written song that perfectly matches your mood will say everything you feel in a way you might not be able to say. But once it's all out--even though you didn't say it--you feel better. Good music is an outlet for our emotions. If we can emotionally connect with something or someone, it validates how we feel. We feel better knowing someone else feels or has felt the same way. The same is exactly true of movies. Good movies have a profound impact on our emotions. Today's task: make a movie and song play-list organized by moods. Whenever you are in such a mood, find the best movie or song to match your mood. You'll instantly feel better. (There is a windows audio program that actually lets you select 'mood' for songs to better help organize).
DAY FOUR
Love.
Today's task: tell someone you love them. It's doesn't matter if it's a family member, a close friend, a best friend, or a significant other. Tell someone. Love is the energy, the life-force, if you will, of the universe. Spread it and it will come back to you. The key to lifelong happiness is to love and be loved, in any way. Like so many other characteristics, you must first love yourself. If that is lacking, it is hoped that you are on your way to loving yourself, because I assure you--you are loved, whether you know it or not. Bonus if you tell more than one person. Ice cream sundae with cherries on top every time you hear it back!
DAY FIVE
Dream.
If life is a canvas, our dreams are the paint and we are the paintbrush. Without dreams, your canvas will be blank. An artist might argue that a blank canvas is art, but it surely isn't life. Paint and paint vividly and wildly. I dream everyday, bigger, better, brighter, and each time more and more intensely. I have nothing to actualize if I have nothing to yearn for. Later I'll divulge secrets to make your dreams come true, but for now, open your eyes and dream. I want you to know, and I'll ask you to accept this on faith, that anything you dream can come true, but first, paint the picture. Your task: draw, speak, or write down at least ten dreams. Start with a few smaller dreams that you can actualize within a shorter period of time, then allow them to grow--bigger and bigger and bigger. End with a few dreams that sound almost fictional. You'll be surprised, if you keep good track of your dreams, you'll be checking them off without even realizing they've been met. I made a list 2 years ago of some very big dreams, I think I had 7...I've already crossed off 3.
That's days one through five. Tell me what you think. Love.
AO ;)
I have playlists in my iPod for different moods. One for when I'm upbeat and feel like singing along, another for when I'm melancholy and want to wallow in it for a while.
ReplyDeleteI've never been one for self-help stuff, but I think it would be good for me to follow your advice and articulate my dreams. I've been having a really hard time making some big decisions, and that may help guide me.
Good start!